The Business Traveler's Hotel Charter

I don't travel as much as I used to, but there are some things about a hotel that caters to business travelers that they should get right.  Forget about your fancy shmancy decor and strange taps that take you 5 minutes to figure out how to turn on, I'm talking basics here.  Here is my list of things that a hotel should get right:-

1. Internet access that does not suck, and is free.  You'd think that paying $12.95 per day would give you a decent internet connection wouldn't you - well apparently not.
2. An iron and ironing board in your room.  If I've traveled halfway across the world, then the odds are that my shirts are going to need a little bit of a press in the morning.  I do not want to have to call down to housekeeping for an iron and ironing board to take 30 minutes to arrive when I am already late.  I have a funny anecdote about ironing shirts in hotels that I'll share with you sometime - feel free to ask me about it if you see me.
3. A good shower.  One that you has a gradual range of settings from hot to cold, trickle all the way up to water cannon.  Pressure and temperature controls should not be binary in operation.
4. An alarm clock. When I wake up in the middle of the night with jetlag, it would be great to be able to look up at a clock to tell the time without switching a light on.
5. Air conditioning.  Any air conditioning system that is used should not sound like a 777 taking off.
6. A light switch by the door.  This seems to be something that American hotels have trouble with in particular.  I'd light to flick a switch by the door that switches a majority of the lights on.  I don't want to go fumbling around in the dark to figure out how to switch on all the lamps individually - what is it with that twisty thing on American light fittings?
7. Plenty of spare plug sockets.  I want to be able to plug in my laptop and possibly charge my cell phone at the same time without having to move furniture.
8. Hangers in a wardrobe.  More than 2 hangers please.  Real hangers are the best, but if you have to use those weird anti-theft ones then fine - but I might steal those just to make a point.
9. Curtains that shut in the middle.  In the precious few hours I get in my room I would love a bit of sleep - blocking the light out would help me a lot.
10. Noise insulation.  If the couple in the room next door is having a noisy argument (or worse, the couple next door are having a noisy something else) then I really don't want to hear it - especially when I've met the elderly and somewhat large couple occupying the room and so am unable to block the disturbing mental images from my mind.

Note that there is nothing fancy here.  Yet you frequently find hotels that consider themselves a bit more upmarket often get the basics totally wrong.  I've tried to be restrained with the nice things that actually make me smile.  Things like big fluffy towels, proper duvets, nice decor, alarm clocks than include an iPod dock, and friendly and helpful staff - those would all be a bonus.

Sorry for the rant - I love the work I do and I am very privileged to get to travel around talking to people about interesting stuff, I'm just tired and grumpy (possibly because my current hotel scores 2.5/10 in this list ;-)